Learn More About Me

This blog has no set rules as to what its about this is just about me, so i might wake up and feel like talking about my fav tooth paste (Yea i know a little wacky, but i have had some random people ask me), My all time fav lipstick or gloss. What shampoo i use, anything at all :@) 

Like everyone i went threw school, The few years of school where pretty much hell on earth and i was lucky enough to meet my Best Friend Sarah (we were 4yrs old) by us swapping school dress's, Yes you read it right, i actually got into a friends dress! I wasnt always big. We continued threw school together our friendship growing. I would of honestly felt lost and so alone with out her, she is what kept me happy and going. Don't get me wrong, were both far from sane, and were total opposites. Sarah is the Tom boy, climb trees, hardly wears make up, doesn't wear heals type of girl. Me..I am a Girly Girl, Love things pink, lip gloss, heals, seriously cant get enough of them. Some how strangely we both work!
Anyways we went threw school together, formed the same group of friends, spent hours and hours out of school together. Its during school, i
meet my first proper boyfriend! I didn't realise at the time, but he knew me better than anyone ever had and i never doubted myself when i was with him, i felt that i could just be myself. I never worried about what i should and shouldn't say around him, or what i could or couldn't wear ( Getting older has made me realise if someone truly Care's about you nothing matters, you can never do anything wrong, your just loved because you are you). Like all good things come to a end, I'm not going to lie, i was devastated, i even went totally of the rails! I done things that in a million years i would never ever do, that includes sleeping with a so called friend at the time. I was hurt and i wasn't thinking!
During my crazy childhood many things happened,
but i always had Sarah and my family around me, they are everything to me, they have made me who i am today.
On my 16th birthday i had a massive party where i pretty much invited everyone ( Mainly people i had spoke to on a few occasions, some i wouldn't class
a friends). When i turned 18 my mum told me about a friend of mine, who had been very very upset, and i had felt so bad, because i hadn't noticed how upset my friend was at my birthday, my friend is a very very pretty girl, who is big like me, but unlike me didn't have the confidence in herself, she had been hurt, called names and verbally abused. Something which today makes me very very upset, that people in this world can be so crawl. My Friend had been crying at my party, telling my mum how she wished she could be more like me, how pretty i am, how everyone loves me. Too hear someone say that about themselves makes me so upset! Knowing that every day,they are suffering because of there personal appearance and no one takes the time to get to know them for the wonderful people they are.I feel as a friend i let them down, when i should of been standing up for them, because they didn't have the confidence too.
From then on, i knew that i had to show people and help them feel comfortable about themselves! I have spent years being the fat girl at school, getting abuse and teased and the class joke. Even Now i am subject to abuse from strangers, college class mates, so called friends, facebookers. I sometimes walk past a group of people and they throw food at me! I have learnt that its not me with the problem, its the way people are, allot of people would not act like they do, their egged on by there mates, there anti social behaviour is shocking, I'm surprised the government let people get away with it!

Since school, i went to Study Performing arts. Thinking about it now i think i enjoyed it so much because of the hurt and pain, i had gone threw threw school, I had manage
d to form this person, this shell to protect myself from the spiteful people,i had to protect myself. I carried on in performing arts for 6yrs because i felt i had finally found something i was good at.

When i was 17 i fell pregnant with my son, I'm not going to l
ie, it was a shock, my family weren't happy, it killed them, all i knew is i wanted this baby and nothing was going to stop me. I knew deep down i had no idea what i was doing, or how i was going to survive. Against everyone i went ahead and had my son anyway.
This time was very very hard for me, probably the worst time of my life, there is only a select few people who know the full situation, and for legal reasons I'
m un able to discuss. Evan now its brings me to tears talking about it, and even writing this blog! I had to leave where i was living and leave my family behind and run away, to protect myself and my family.
When i lef
t i had no idea how to cope, i surrounded myself with my best friend, who was a rock to me, she has no idea how much she means to me, and how much it meant to have her there for me. i was totally messed up.
While i was pregnant i happened to meet a amazing guy,i admit i got with him for the wrong reasons thinking, why would anyone want to be with me..but i begin to love him. He s
poilt me and treated me like a princess, he would do anything for me. What surprised me the most, is he cared about the baby too. He bought the baby things and too me was the dad of my baby.
There were a
few problems with his parents in the fact that they didn't like someone with a baby coming along, taking away there son. I just wished they would of got to know me, that wasn't my attentions at all. As good as this guy was, i wasn't the girl for him. He didn't trust me and i had trust issues which after a while added allot of stress, things weren't fun anymore.
Photo Entry Sent For Katie Underwear Comp


In 2005, I then had a dream come true! I had been modeling online via a few websites, so thougt it was time i got into it more. Modeling has always been a dream of mine, I would love to do page 3.
Anyway, i was a massive fan of Katie pric
e, so i was a member of her website. There was a comp to model with her, so i thought " Oh why the hell Not" So i sent in some pics, and i had a call from Nicola at Can, to attend a fitting. I told her i was a plus 28 but i could get into a 18-20 in katies range!
So i went to the fitting.. And all was ok and the week later, i was standing in undies in front of the press! I was so over whelmed and shocked, to be stood there next to katie price! Not only that being in the same room as her getting ready! People always ask me, whats she like! I can honestly say, Katie is lovely. I have meet her a few times threw meet and greets as well as this modeling experience and she is really down to earth.

Heat Magazine

Since then, I knew Just Knew, there was a big gap in the market and i needed to pursue it even more, Wake up the Media and show them , IM BIG BUT IM BEAUTIFUL! I have since been pushing and working hard to promote women of my size. I can honestly say, I am a real Plus size Model wearing a Plus Size 28!
I don't have a agent as I'm to big for standard, everything i get, i find myself. I work hard and push myself to keep motivated.

Anyone who wants to take on Plus modeling, I say as long as your happy with the way you look, happy to work very very hard, and keep yourself motivated then kick on some heals and get threw the door!
I am sick of the way large people are thought about, I'm not lazy, i don't eat crap all day! I have had magazine company's call me up and i have had to call them back because i have been out on a bike ride with my son! Too which there very surprised about.. shocked in fact!
Like all people, i like to work out, get on the steppers, go for a walk, in fact i walk
the dog more than anyone else in my family, and I'm the biggest!
People ask me all the time, how i get into modeling, i work hard, I'm determined and i don't take no for a answer!

If i am 100% honest some people think i have this amazing life, but to me its normal and lonely. Simply because i am the overweight, single mum. People dont look at me past the weight. I have 0 social life, i normally have to pay people to hang out with me, pay for drinks, meals out, im not into that! Im always 100% the person who will text first, I have changed alot lately over the years and cut these people out. Im not desbrate, I dont need to be friends with people who dnt give to shits about me!
I Joined a English and math class's during the last month, mainly to pick up some new skills, but also to maybe make some new friends! A funny story that happened is there was a women in my class who is about 4 maybe 5 sizes bigger than me, she asked me what i worked as, so i replyed " I model" she cracked up.. Biggest laugh out there... and replied " Yea right" I looked at her dead stright and said " No seriously, listed of what i did, im pretty sure she went home that night to google me!! 


- Now a few years on and 2017, Im currently single, Not working, im classed as a carer for my son, who is being extremely difficult,  i have had weight loss surgery and i am currently down 7 stone! There is still a huge way to go yet, but I am sure I will enjoy getting there!