Monday, 15 February 2016

Living life with a stalker...

It's not very often I put my personal life on my blog, however for the past 2 years i have found myself being stalked pretty much daily by one or other of my boyfriends past Lovers.

I meet my boyfriend back in 2014 while he was married, firstly as friends. He was open about being married and things being a bit tricky, we meet up and spoke over his issues and I offered him guidance in his relationship and being a more hands in father.
Things then took a turn as his wife called things off, we started talking  more, flitting and meet up and things started from there.
What I didn't expect was all the issues and stress it woukd bring too me.
As a single mum with a son with disabilities, last thing I wanted was to add more complications to my life.
I had been taken back and developed feelings for someone i would never have thought i would, especially  someone who was married, however my feelings were far too strong that I felt I owed it too him and myself to try and work things out.
I new things wouldn't be easy, but nothing compared me for the stress I was going to face.
He was still living with his wife and even went on a paid holiday with her and his son.
However I was contacted by her and she was keeping me informed off what she was up too and teaching him how too cook. She kept me updated on his daily movements., she stalked his every movement and tried to be friend me, and stalk my every movement. Me being me i tried to keep it on friendly terms and as she was the mother of my boyfriends son I continued to be pleasant.
However she would tell me daily what her planned day was, so I started to ask my self if she was lonely and needed someone to chat too, as I have been there know what it's like. I have nothing against it as I have been bought up to get on with everyone.
I continued to talk to her but told my ex so he was aware as didn't want there to be any issues. However it still caused issues.
Even after she moved out and new he was here for a weekend she messaged me and asked me to keep him at mine due to her going back to the home they shared to take the computer ect ( which off cause I informed him off).
Months past and she continued to be in contact via social media.
I'll be honest it put a huge strain on the relationship.
With things being rocky between my boyfriend and I. One day in may I looked at my "others" folder to find messages form a women  claming to be with my boyfriend,  yes he had been distracted but I put it down to pervious issues like being caught out cheating on me, and knowing his ex new about all the date/sex sites he had been on throughout the marriage and arranging too meet another women,  along with a personal issue. I  thought we were both working through everything and everything that had happened was being sorted.
However this women implied she had been with him for the past few months he loved her ect.
I called him too ask he got defensive and ended things with in 2 mins added in a relationship with this other women to his facebook, my world came crashing down. There were private things happening in my life which he was fully aware off and still  choose to walk out on us. I did try and call him the same day but he had blocked my calls and social media.
Thoes who know me know I'm not one to hassle and believe it's down to the man to chase.
The hate messages continued from this women he was now in a relationship with and continued to get more and more agressive as time went on. I'd be continuely blocked and Un blocked and have account after account popping up on all social media. Vile images and words sent to me daily sometimes 10+ times a day.
I have no idea why this women felt the need for I had no contact with my ex I had even changed numbers and was moving.
I spoke to him in june to let him know what was going on with private issues, was a big mistake. Emails continued to flood in , calls came non stop.. my life was being controlled by someone mles away.

I sunk into depression and shut myself away from the world trying to live and get on with life with thoes there to support me not knowing who I could really trust. Was nothing in my hands anymore.

I thought about telling my ex but what would that do. The new girlfriend made it seem he was part of this sick and twisted game that was being played.

I was left thinking I was nothing but a joke and never had meant anything. How could he spend nearly a year with me and then go off with some women he had been talking to for 5 years and never meet.  He new nothing about her. I had supported him with his divorce and helped him  build a relationship with his son. Did he think I was so terrible to cause issues with his new relationship. I'd even told him I wanted nothing to do with him in the hope that the calls and emails and social media harassment would stop!! How wrong was I. .

There wasn't a day that went by when I missed him or thought about him. Yet I was being harassed by his now girlfriend, who even went as far as telling him I was in a relationship from a screen cap from my Facebook,  which shows she was keeping a very close eye on me.

My boyfriend and this women where together for 9months and in that time my life was made a living hell.

I continued talking to his now ex wife due to my son and his son being mates and she was aware of the situation and she too had messages from the same women while she was married too him 2 years before the relationship ended. So this women had not only caused problems with me but tried to with her.

I eventually contacted my ex and started talking to him and durring the first few weeks I was not sure if he was messing me about. I then confided in him what was going on and still going on.

At first I think he was Un sure, however I luckily had screen shoots of convos from the past few months stored on my online phone back up.

It was not till they ended did he see himself what she was like.  She continued to message me saying she didn't have his number and could I get him to call her.. she would then be texting and calling him, saying she needed to talk and then talk about Me.. she sent him doctored screen shots and continued to contact him for weeks.  While still harrassing me .

I'm still going through daily harassment and while it's slowly calming it's still going on and I'm trying to get back to who I used to be.

I stuggle daily not knowing who to trust and having low confidence issues but slowly I'm seeing happy days.

Have you ever been stalked??